MARRIAGE

 

According to Hinduism, marriage between two persons is a sacred relationship that is not only limited to that one life span, but seven life span they are of each other’s partner. It is said that marriages are matched in heaven, and destiny will play its part to bring them together. The relationship between a husband and wife is essentially a relation of souls. For Hindus woman marriage marks the end of her life as a maiden. She leaves her family, friends and begins a new life in her husband’s family. Back then marriages were considered as pure and if they are not happy in the marriage still they have to stay with their in-laws. Women after marriage have to pretend to be happy and also she has to act like a sanskari women (bahu) to create an impression. They were only allowed to do household activities and also they don’t interfere in the other matters of house (managing money, child’s future decision, and many more). Women were just a mere piece of object in many of the small villages and also other places.

Grihyasutras, Dharmasutras, and Smritis mention eight types of marriages. They were: - Brahma, Daiva, Arsha, Prajapatya, Asura, Gandharva, Rakshasa, Paishacha.

1.    Brahma: - The father used to invite a man learned in the Vedas to marry his daughter decked with garments and jewels.

2.    Prajapatya: - The father after honoring the bridegroom gives his daughter and addresses both of them with the words- “may both of you perform your duties together.”

3.     Gandharva: - There is the union of a girl and the boy through mutual consent.

4.    Paishacha: - A man by stealth seduces a girl who is asleep, intoxicated or disordered in intellect.

In the four forms (Brahma, Daiva,Arsha, Prajapatya) there is the gift of the girl called kanyadana by the father or the guardian to the groom. It means transfer of the father’s right of guardianship and control of the maiden to the husband. Among all the forms of marriage the Brahma is the best and Paishacha is the worst.

 

 Under some circumstances girls are forced to get married, or some girls were even borrowed from their parents at a cost. And there were some girls at that time that used to run away with their lovers and some for the constant torture of the family because according to the families girls are born to get married and have kids and lead the legacy of her husband. It can be also said as that there was no respect or admiration for girls career and also there ambition. You can’t even marry anyone you like; it requires caste, gotra, family background, financial status and appearance of the groom, character of the bride. Girls did not even know to whom they are getting married after the marriage on the fourth night they look at their husband’s face. One of the evils of Hindu marriages is the dowry system. Some greedy mother-in-laws and husbands subject the poor brides to innumerable hardships for not meeting their expectations in respect of the dowry. Many in-laws even burn the brides to death. The brides’ parents have to bear the brunt of most of the expenses and in many cases it leads to financial indebtedness. Hindu marriages are very expensive because of the status dowry, expensive gifts, and family’s prestige.

Love marriages are on the increase but still people have problems. Love marriages in same caste and financial background are supported compared to inter-caste and inter-religious marriages. Parents forcefully get them married to another man and before marriage they face mental torture and also some of them are locked inside their rooms or houses. If parents are educated on the both sides, things would be easier for the children. But these types of parents exists, who support their children’s love life. Love marriage is not only human things but even it’s said Lord Shiva and Mata Parvati also have had love marriage. They have the eternal relationship. So love marriages are not bad, it’s just in our head that if we marriage someone we love then in future the relation will not workout but in arrange marriage it will.

Hindus consider marriage as a sacred relationship, not just two bodies but two souls becomes one. Marriage is meant for the continuation of family. In Hindu tradition there is no such thing as divorce, once married a couple are wedded for life. Divorce is a modern practice introduced in modern times through the Govt. or society by the Hindu marriage act. At the time of marriage, the bridegroom ties a sacred thread around the bride’s neck and accepts her hand. Then they both take seven steps (saptapadi) together around the fire uttering vows of friendship and mutual loyalty.    

                           - Soumya Sucharita Pani